


Mirror Image

by Halo793



Series: One-shots [14]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Death, F/M, Recovery, Romance, Sad, Smut, also the longest oneshot ive written, based off the first scene in the civil war trailer, might make more if people like it, right now just a one shot, she has a metal arm too, then continues on with my brain, warning: gore and violence, why do i write such painful things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-05-15 18:57:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5796037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halo793/pseuds/Halo793
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hidden by her jacket was a metal arm like his... only hers was on the right.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> idk. ive had this ofc in my head for a while. where she has a metal arm too but its opposite, like a mirror reflection.  
> hope people like it, because i do.

There was movement in the adjoining room where she’d left him alone. Her heart raced as she listened intently to the footsteps while silently picking up the gun she had set aside when searching for tools. They hadn’t been apart for over a year, so of course the moment they are out of sight of each other, they get found. Creeping toward the doorway, she listened to the unknown men speak to her partner.

 

“Do you remember me?” A male voice said. She recognized that voice, so she could assume who the other footsteps belonged to.

 

“Your mom’s name was Sarah,” her partner rasped softly, “You wore newspaper in your shoes,” she heard something in his voice that she had slowly been getting used to, a smile; small as it was, she could hear it. With every new memory came a little more happiness, a little more light in his eyes.

 

“You’re a wanted man,” Captain Rogers said, as if Bucky didn’t know. She’d been on the run with him for months.

 

There was a short pause before Bucky replied, “I don’t do that anymore,”

 

And it was true, he didn’t. He refused to carry a gun most of the time… and they were trapped in that warehouse because he had tried to remove the arm. The last thing he wanted was more violence, because for every good memory he gained… there were at least three bad.

 

“Well, the people who think you do… they’re on their way here. They aren’t planning to take you alive,”

 

Rogers voice was ominous, and she decided it was time to make her presence known. The three men turned to the doorway behind Sam Wilson when they heard the cocking of a gun.

 

“He said,” she growled, merciless eyes staring down the gun, “He doesn’t do that anymore,”

 

The woman’s dark hair was pulled out of her face showing her softly rounded but defined cheek bones and her blue eyes looked a lot like Bucky’s, especially under her angrily furrowed brow. That wasn’t the only thing they shared… mostly hidden by the gray jacket she wore was a metal arm just like his, only hers was on the right.

 

“Kara,” Bucky rasped and her eyes flicked to his, “Don’t,”

 

She glanced back and forth between her partner and Captain America. Sam had taken a few steps away from her and closer to Steve. She didn’t lower her weapon, if anything she held it tighter in her grip, refusing to stand down. Bucky spoke again only in Russian, but just as softly and calmly.

 

 _“Enough,”_ her eyes met his again, _“Come over here if you don’t feel safe,”_

 

She kept her weapon aimed at the men she didn’t know as she side-stepped across the room to stand behind him, the only person in the world that she truly trusted.

 

“Put it down,” He whispered, she growled and dropped the gun to her side, _“Thank you,”_ he said.

 

When the gun was no longer pointed at them, she heard Sam sigh and saw his shoulders relax. The two strangers examined her from across the room while she glared at them.

 

“Look, they’re on their way, we don’t have a lot of time,” Steve explained. He seemed to accept the fact that this woman had some sort of history with his old friend. The looks she gave him every time he moved reminded him of a feral cat, eagerly calculating its quickest move to tear you to shreds.

 

“Did you find tools?” Bucky asked looking over his shoulder. She looked ashamed while she shook her head from side to side. Steve took a step forward and her eyes pierced his again, he swore if he’d taken two steps she would have hissed at him.

 

He held his hands out in front of himself in a sign of surrender, “If you’ll let us help, I think the three of us can lift it,” he explained motioning between Sam and himself and her.

 

 _“Let them, I trust them,”_ Bucky explained.

 

 _“Why?”_ she challenged and he paused, a wrinkle forming between his eyebrows as he thought.

 

_“I – I’m not sure… I just know, trust me,”_

 

She sighed and waved Steve forward before resting her human hand on Bucky’s shoulder, “Stay still, I don’t want you to hurt yourself any more than you have,”

 

He scoffed, rolling his eyes, but nodding. Kara curled her fingers under one side of the machine while Steve and Sam took the other side. They nodded at each other over the piece of equipment and started to lift. She grunted and scrunched her face while the metal groaned in protest. She saw Bucky wince and barked, “ _Be still_ ,” at him while she kept pushing up. When it had finally moved enough for him to slide out, the three dropped it and it fell with such force it shook the room.

 

“We need to get you guys out of here,” Sam said, “They’re probably after both of you… I’ve never heard of you, though… who are you?”

 

Her eyes were emotionless again as she ignored them and crossed the room to a sleeping bag and backpack in the corner and started gathering their things, it was Bucky who answered his question.

 

“She’s like me,” was all he said at first, rotating his metal hand and watching the plates grind together where they were now dented, “I call her Kara,” both Steve and Sam watched the girl as she searched the room, grabbing anything useful and throwing it in the backpack. Her face stayed blank and detached during the conversation about her.

 

“What does that mean?” Steve asked.

 

“She doesn’t know her name. They called her Kerosene… so, I went with Kara for short,”

 

“She’ll remember though, right… like you?” Sam probed, tossing a wallet with an identity for Bucky and some cash in it, she caught it and put it in the bag. If he’d known about her he would have gotten another for her as well.

 

“Doubt it,” she grunted, “By the time they ‘recruited’ me… they perfected the first part of the process. I have no memory of anything before them, so they didn’t have to…” she looked at Bucky for some sort of permission, he nodded to her, “They didn’t have to wipe me like they did him,”

 

Bucky was looking down at his feet, but still caught the backpack when she threw it across the room to him. She picked up another, smaller backpack and threw it over her shoulders, “There’s only one thing I remember… and it’s only in dreams so I don’t even know if it’s true,” she explained, “The day they took me,” that was all she said about it before going into the next room, they could hear her searching through things.

 

“We have activity outside,” she called just before they heard a door downstairs get busted in and boots start thundering up the stairs. She came back into the room and went directly to Bucky.

 

“There’s an address in the wallet. Safe house. Get there and we can find you… no one knows about it except the people in this room,” Sam said quickly.

 

Kara checked that her gun was loaded and made eye contact with Bucky, nodding. He turned to Steve, “Thank you,”

 

“We’ll wait for your contact, but we gotta go _now_ ,” she stressed.

 

They made it down the hall and almost to the fire escape before running into troops. She had one knocked unconscious and was about to shoot him before Bucky stopped her.

 

“Don’t! Don’t kill them if you don’t have to,”

 

“Why?” she growled with frustration, fighting off another that came through the door, “They won’t give us the same curtesy,”

 

The two assassins were breathing heavily when the room was cleared, “Because that’s what separates us from them now,”

 

“Buck, go!” Steve yelled from the hall, “We’ve got this!”

 

Bucky kicked open a door that lead out to a balcony. The only way down was to jump. They looked at each other and he squeezed her human hand in his, “Go, I’m right behind you,”

 

She heard Bucky fighting off two more soldiers as she jumped, barely landing on an apartment building roof. Looking up, she saw him still wrestling with them and she ran for the door into the building. It was locked, but she fixed that problem quickly with her metal arm. She was a couple flights down the winding stairs when she heard someone rushing down above her.

 

“James?!” she asked.

 

“It’s me,” he called back, “Go, Kara! If we get separated, you know where to meet!”

 

She continued down the steps, taking them two or three at a time before bursting out the door onto the sidewalk outside. Gaining her composure almost immediately, she shoved her hands in the jacket pockets and strolled along the sidewalk casually. She headed toward the bridge they’d chosen to meet. She bought a couple bottles of water at a street vendor, putting them in her bag but keeping one out to drink. She lifted a newspaper off a business man that walked past her on the sidewalk. Once she made it to the bridge, she sat at a nearby bus stop and skimmed through the paper to seem occupied. After a while, someone sat beside her and even though she didn’t look up she knew it was him. She didn’t realize how anxious she was until her shoulders relaxed at the sound of his voice.

 

“Looked at the location yet?”

 

“No, I was waiting for you,” she said, folding her paper as the next bus came into view.

 

She hadn’t even checked where it was going, but they both got on and paid the fair before sitting toward the back. He draped his human arm behind her across the back of their seats while she dug the wallet out of her backpack, his other hand was in his pocket. She showed him the ID Sam had gotten for him and then she unfolded the sheet of paper with instructions on how to get to the safe house. She entered the address in her phone and it wasn’t on any maps, which was a good sign.

 

“We’ll need a car,” she pointed out, “And we should stop a few places along the way to gather supplies,”

 

He only nodded before pressing a kiss to her temple. She wasn’t always sure if it was to maintain cover or because he wanted to, but he did the same when they were alone so she didn’t mind.

 

“That was the first time I’ve been scared in a while,” he admitted, murmuring into her hair.

 

She rested her left hand on his leg and laid her head on his shoulder with a sigh, “Me too,”

 

They waited a few stops before getting off the bus and finding a car to use. They agreed to drive a few hours before making any stops to gather supplies and that they should stop to get groceries last. As he drove, Bucky noticed how her eyes would droop closed and her head would slowly fall before shooting back up and blinking quickly.

 

He smirked and held her left hand in his right, “Go to sleep, it’ll be alright,”

 

She nodded, reaching into the back seat to get the jacket he had taken off and use it as a blanket. She reclined her chair and laid in it sideways to face him before taking his hand in hers again, “Wake me up when you’re ready to switch,” she mumbled through a yawn. He nodded and kissed her hand before resting their tangled hands in her lap again.

 

He turned on the heat in the car to help keep her warm, but he didn’t turn on any music. He focused on the sounds of her resting, the way her fingers twitched around his and the way she would sigh and smile in her sleep occasionally. His favorite was when she would take a deep breath and breathe his name. The sound made him feel a warmth that he didn’t recognize… even with most of his memories back, there were some sensations similar, but none as intense as what he felt with her. They were an almost 18-hour drive away from the safe house, so he decided to let her sleep as long as possible. He’d slept much more than she had in the past few days, and she had stayed up watching over him.

 

After hours of driving, Bucky had stopped for gas twice and she hadn’t woken up but he knew they needed to stop soon to get new clothes and a different car. Kara didn’t have a nightmare the whole time she slept. As time went on, both of their nightmares had dwindled down some. She even had dreams, instead of just nightmares and nothingness. He pulled into the parking lot of some knock-off Walmart and parked in the middle, not close but not far.

 

“Kara,” he said softly, brushing some hair from her cheek, “Sweetheart, wake up,”

 

“How long was I asleep?” she grumbled, not opening her eyes yet.

 

“’bout ten hours,”

 

She shot up straight, looking at her surroundings before glaring at him, “Why didn’t you wake me up to switch?”

 

“You needed rest more than I do,” he shrugged, “C’mon, we need clothes and a new car,”

 

She narrowed her eyes at the large building, taking in the entry points and possible cover, “Too many cameras,”

 

“We’ll be long gone ‘fore anyone notices us,”

 

“I feel like you’re underestimating them,” she said lowly, inspecting the cars there so early in the morning, “Too many cameras and too many civilians,”

 

He only sighed, opening his car door and climbing out, “You go get clothes, they’ll be slower to notice you on footage. I’ll get a car, meet you at the door in fifteen?”

 

She nodded, sliding out of her seat and putting her hands in her pockets as she walked toward the concrete building. She pulled a pair of reading glasses from her pocket and put them on before letting her hair down. She quickly grabbed a pair of jeans for each of them, along with tee-shirts, underwear, sweaters, and a flannel shirt for Bucky. Reversible knit beanie’s would be more modern and less hobo-y than baseball caps, so she grabbed two of them. The self-check-out lanes were probably her favorite development of the decade and she paid in cash. Thirteen minutes later she was on the front sidewalk just in time for a maroon truck to pull up in front of her.

 

“Go ahead and change now. I’ll drive a while and we can switch at the next gas station,” Bucky explained as she climbed up into the tall truck.

 

Once they were on a highway again, she wiggled out of her old jeans and underwear and arched her back up off the seat to pull on the new ones. While she was off the seat, Bucky smirked and reached over, pinching her butt making her squeak and jump before smacking his arm. He let out a real, deep laugh that made her giggle some too.

 

“I’ll get you back!”

 

“I’m lookin’ forward to it,” he chuckled before watching out the corner of his eye as she pulled her shirt off and unclipped her bra.

 

“Eyes on the road, soldier,” she smirked, leaning toward him and kissing his cheek before quickly finishing changing clothes.

 

After another hour, they stopped to switched places and he changed his clothes. As she drove, she could see him yawning and rubbing his eyes, so she lifted the middle arm rest making the front seat one flat seat.

 

She patted her thigh, “C’mere,”

 

“I’m too big to lay that way, or even sleep in the car… I’ll be fine,”

 

“Now,” she said sternly and he followed her order with a huff and a roll of his eyes. Once he was comfortable with his head on her leg he almost instantly fell asleep when she started running her fingers through his hair. When she heard his first soft snore she couldn’t help but smile, it always relived her to know he was resting well and she would take his snoring over nightmares any night. He didn’t talk in his sleep as often as she did, and normally it was in nightmares… but when it wasn’t, it was priceless and hilarious. After about two hours of sleeping, he started talking and she talked back, just to see what he’d say.

 

“They’re following,” he muttered.

 

“Who’s following?”

 

“The ducks,”

 

She pinched her lips together to hold back the giggle, “I think we can handle some ducks, babe,”

 

“Yeah, not scared’a no ducks,” his eyebrows pulled together in a look of determination, “Back up, duck, she’ll kick your ass,”

 

She snorted before slapping her hand over her mouth. It was a while before he spoke again.

 

“’Corse I do!” he said defensively and so suddenly it made her jump, “Shh! She’ll hear,”

 

“Who?”

 

“Kara!” he whispered then smiled with a sigh, “Everything. My everything,”

 

Her heart felt warm as she looked down at his peaceful face and stroked his hair, “Right back at ya, James,” she whispered.

 

Kara wasn’t sure when she fell for him. Maybe it was a gradual thing that she noticed when it was too late to go back. Maybe it started after her recovery when they placed her on his team.

 

In her dreams, Bucky is the one that brought her to Hydra with her arm barely hanging on by the tendons. He demanded that they fix her. She had flashes of the fight that happened before he found her… but she didn’t know if any of it was true. Bucky said he wasn’t certain, that he didn’t remember her arrival well. All she knew for sure was that once she was on his team they were inseparable; fighting so well together. She was able to keep them from wiping his mind as often. He fell for her over and over. Whenever Hydra would notice they would wipe him, but he wouldn’t forget her… just forget how much he loved her. It worked less and less every time, he would remember faster and faster. They learned to hide it well, not even the agents assigned to their team knew.

 

She was envious that he could remember a life before Hydra. The only memories she had were from her years with that godforsaken terrorist group. And him. All the good memories were him; winking at her from across the room when no one could see, a quick tiny smirk in the middle of a mission, his warmth when they had to share a sleeping bag on a mission in a blizzard. The only kiss they ever shared before the fall of Hydra was that night when the agent assigned to keep watch over the group left the room to do a perimeter check.

_Her back was against his chest and his lips brushed the back of her neck so softly she wasn’t sure it really happened so she rolled to face him in the tiny space of the nylon bag. He was smiling when she looked at him, it was a smile she’d never seen before. All of his previous smiles had been sarcastic and directed toward others, but this smile was for her and it was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. Before she could ask what he was smiling about, he pressed his hand to the small of her back and kissed her passionately. A shocked but happy squeak caught in her throat and he pulled back just enough to shush her before kissing her again, deeper and longer. Lips moving together like that was exactly what they were made to do._

_She lifted her hand to grip the back of his neck and hold him close even after their lips separated, “We can’t,” even in a whisper, her voice sounded broken, “They’ll hurt you… punish you…”_

_With their noses brushing together and panting breath mingling between them, he rested his forehead against hers and stared into her eyes before sighing, “I had to. Even just once,”_

_“Sleep, my angel,” he kissed her one last time and motioned for her to turn back over. Holding her tighter to his chest than before, he whispered in her ear when he heard the footsteps coming back down the hall, “My everything,”_

_As she drifted into sleep a few minutes later she heard him one last time with his lips brushing her ear, “You are worth it…”_

_That was when she realized for sure that she had fallen for her partner, a terrifyingly lethal assassin… that just called her an angel._

 

 

Their next stop was a small town; they went to the Goodwill and bought enough clothes to get them by and a few things they weren’t sure the house would have, like extra blankets or soap and towels. Then in a town about thirty minutes from where the safe house was supposed to be, they stocked up on food; enough for a few days, just so they could see what they would need before going out again.

 

They finally made it down what seemed like a deserted road, then followed the directions onto a long gravel driveway and back in the tree line was a small cabin. It looked as unthreatening as anything, but Bucky told her to drive slower and park behind the house so the car couldn’t be seen.

 

“Check inside? I’ll do perimeter?” Bucky asked and Kara only nodded, turning to slide out of the truck but he grabbed her wrist and she turned back in time for his lips to touch hers, “Be careful,” he whispered.

 

“You too,” she nodded. She checked her gun was loaded again and went up to the back door.

 

According to the instructions, there was a key hidden very specifically. Luckily the directions were right and she found it with ease. She moved through the house with absolute silence. Other than a little dust, the place seemed fine. She was checking every room for bugs or wires and when she checked the closet and turned to the right to check the corners, she found the wall slightly crooked and when she pushed it, it swung open like a door revealing stairs. The wall-door was heavy and the inside was metal. As she went down the steps she checked for wires or traps and at the bottom of the stairs was another metal door that pushed open easily. On the other side of that door, there were six locks. The room it led to was fully stocked with food, blankets, an old school wave radio, water to last a family of four at least two weeks… more if rationed proportionally to body size. Walls were made of steel and concrete, there was an air filter in the ceiling and a very rudimentary toilet that drained deep down into a tank underground.

She changed her mind, this place wasn’t fine, it was perfect.

 

Though Bucky moved almost as silently as she did, Kara heard him walk in upstairs and made her way back to him. He met her at the door to the closet.

 

“Storage house ‘bout half a mile west. I put the truck in there. It’s stocked for about six months for four people. Safety wire tripped and activated when we came in the driveway. Anybody crosses toward the house in a hundred yards any direction, it’ll alarm,” he explained his findings.

 

“No bugs, taps or wires, but I did find this,” she took a step back so he could look past her at the wall-door, “It’s pretty damn secure down there. Might be one of the most secure safe houses we’ve been in. six interlacing lock systems on the lower blast door, only three on this one, another two weeks of supplies down there, maybe three if we stretch it,”

 

“I like this place already,” Bucky smirked, “I’ll bring everything in. Put it on the back porch before takin’ the truck to the shed. Take the mattress down stairs?” she nodded and was about to do as he had asked, but something in his eyes made her stop.

 

He very suddenly pulled her into a tight embrace and nuzzled into her hair with a sigh, “We’re ok,” he wasn’t saying it as a reassurance. The sigh sounded more amazed and relieved than anything else.

 

She hugged him back just as tightly before resting her chin on his chest to look up at him, “Hurry down? I can’t imagine anything better than lying with you right now,” she admitted softly before blushing at her words. Over the last year or so, as they both became more themselves, whenever they were alone it was like they became love-struck teenagers. After four decades sharing nothing more than winks and longing stare sessions while wrapped in sleeping bags, the freedom to touch and be touched in ways not meant for pain was finally dawning on them.

 

He nodded once, kissing her forehead and leaving the room. She heaved the bedroom mattress off the stand and slid it down the stairs after maneuvering it around the tight corner in the closet. Normal soldiers on the run would have felt safe enough to stay in the house, but they preferred to be as hidden as physically possible. The idea that they would be safe enough to sleep at the same time excited her more than should have been normal. The idea of lying in each other’s arms, a tangle of warm skin and steel, calmed her more than scheduled perimeter checks did.

 

She rearranged the supplies to make room in the far corner for the mattress, hidden among the previsions. The sound of plastic bags alerted her to his presence on the stairs and she turned to see him at the top of the steps closing the wall-door and securing all three locks. He somehow managed to carry every bag down the stairs, bags lining both arms before he dropped them lazily by the thick metal door. Kara finished making the bed and creating their warm nest of blankets while Bucky engaged all six locks. Once they were shut in, a screen on their side of the door came to life showing all of the hidden security feeds from around the house. Scrolling through the options on the touch pad, Bucky found a map of underground safety tunnels that branched off from the bunker room. He glanced at the section of floor that supposedly led to the web of tunnels and decided he would explore them in a few minutes.

 

Turning to her, his face lit up in a full smile to see she’d changed out of her jeans and tee-shirt. She had slipped into the large flannel that she originally bought for him, “Stealin’ my clothes before I even get to wear ‘em?” he strolled up behind her, weaving his arms around her waist, “Are we that domesticated now?”

 

“Technically not yours since, as you pointed out, you haven’t worn it yet,” between them, smiles came easily… but when others were around, they were too on guard.

 

“Shut up,” he murmured against her shoulder, “I’m tryin’ to say you look good in my clothes,”

 

She hummed happily and leaned back against him, “Then to answer your question; yes, apparently we are that domesticated,”

 

His lips moved lightly against her neck as he spoke, “Tunnels under the floor…”

 

“Yeah, saw the hatch, figured you’d wanna check it out,”

 

“Saw the hatch already?”

 

“Must be losin’ your edge if you’re missin’ things like that already,” she joked, turning her head to kiss him, “Go check it out, I’ll sort through things here… just do me a favor?”

 

“Sure, what is it?”

 

“Take a gun,”

 

Bucky huffed before nodding, “Alright, if I’m not back in fifteen, check the footage and get out. Meet at the shed hal…”

 

“Half mile west,” she turned in his arms, looking intensely into his eyes, “Be careful,”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” once again, he kissed Kara’s forehead before making his way down the hatch.

 

After putting the supplies they brought in the proper places, she glanced at the clock on the wall to see how much time had passed; six minutes. Kara caught herself yawning; not so long ago, she would suppress such a thing but now she was more human than weapon. Even after all the sleep in the car, her body was aching with exhaustion. Something about sleeping in a car always left her more tired than before. She lowered herself onto the bed, crawling to the corner and pressing her back against the cold concrete as she pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs. Staring at the closed hatch, she counted seconds and every minute she’d change what language she counted in. Four minutes later, there was a patterned tap on the hatch that she recognized as James and after a pause of two seconds, the door slid to one side and he appeared again. He caught sight of her shivering in the corner and his eyes softened.

 

“Why aren’t you under the blanket?”

 

“Not without you,” she whispered.

 

He silently crawled over to her and helped her under the pile of thick blankets before burrowing in behind her and holding her with his arm draped over her waist. Without missing a beat, he felt her soft fingers move to lace through his metal ones.

 

“You’re safe,” he mumbled in response to her shaking sigh.

 

She shook her head from side to side, “ _We’re_ safe,”

 

“Yes,” he agreed, kissing the back of her neck, “We’re both safe,”

 

After an hour of fake sleeping breaths, he smirked behind her; he knew her too well to believe her fake sleeping, “Sleep, my angel,”

 

She turned over to face him, “Can’t, bed’s too big,” he nodded in agreement before sliding out of her grip with an idea.

 

He unrolled the sleeping bag from the backpack and pulled back the blankets to lay it in the middle of the bed. She wiggled inside and he slid in beside her before pulling the quilts back up over them. She tucked her head under his chin and held her arms around him securely while tangling her legs with his.

 

He stroked his human hand over her hair, “Better?”

 

With a relaxed hum, Kara pressed a kiss to the dip between his collar bones, “Much,” she quickly drifted into sleep with warm lips touching softly to her forehead.

 

A few hours later, she was slowly dragged out of her sleep by a pair of warm wandering hands gliding along her skin. Sliding one hand from her hip down to her knee, he hooked her leg up around his hip while his other hand deftly unfastened the few buttons she had bothered to put together on her – _his_ – shirt. His steel hand, warm from being inside the blankets, finally found its way into her shirt to cup her bare breast. She sighed with a closed-eyed smile.

 

“Good mornin’,” he muttered before kissing along her neck.

 

She had planned to respond, but as she did his careful human fingers slipped between them to rub across her underwear, “Good morn – Oh, god,” she whimpered. He smirked and sucked gently on the soft skin of her neck.

 

While a metal thumb traced circles around one of her nipples, his head ducked beneath the blankets to catch the other in his mouth.

 

“James,” her voice was rough after just waking up. He moaned against her chest in response.

 

Very slowly, he let his hand wander down into the front of her panties and he listened to the way her breathing quickened. He traced one finger between her folds and they both moaned; her, at the blissful feeling of his hands against her; him, at how fantastically wet she had gotten already. He moved his fingers around in her moisture for a moment before using it to help make teasingly slow circles around her clit. He continued biting and sucking at her chest, leaving a trail of bruises up from the valley of her breasts to her collar bones.

 

Rocking her hips against his fingers, she whined, “More… please,”

 

“Yes, ma’am,” he growled against her throat as he pressed two fingers into her slowly. Her gasp turned into a high moan when the heel of his palm pushed against her clit. He didn’t even have to move his hand, just let her rock against him, riding his fingers as she panted his name like a mantra of pleasure. He brought his head back level with hers, watching the need for release across her face, and pulled his bottom lip between his teeth.

 

“I love seein’ you like this,” he growled, starting to move his hand in time with her thrusts, adding perfect friction, “Knowin’ I’m the one who makes you come apart,”

 

Her hands gripped his biceps hard as she moaned loudly, “James, please, I’m so close,” she begged.

 

He kissed her deeply, his tongue tracing her lips and dancing along with hers. She started to shake there in his arms, like her own personal earthquake tearing her apart. Her back arched, pressing her chest to his as she yelled in ecstasy. He removed his fingers and rubbed slow circles as her body slumped back and her chest heaved with heavy breaths. Bucky noticed he was panting too, just watching her was nearly enough to get him off. He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, whispering in her ear.

 

“So beautiful,” he kissed behind her ear, “God, I love watching you,”

 

“You can watch me anytime you want, as long as I get to wake up like that,” she laughed breathlessly, “Is it hot in here to you? Or is it just me?”

 

He rolled on top of her, “Oh, baby doll, it’s definitely you,” he touched his lips to hers softly, then again. Their kisses grew and she wove her fingers through his hair, holding him close.

 

She reached down to shimmy out of her underwear, kicking it to the bottom of the sleeping bag to be dealt with later, and she pushed his sweatpants down his thighs letting his impossibly hard erection free. Her warm human hand wrapped around him gently, sliding up and down making him moan against her lips. Kara used his tip to rub across her clit and whimpered before guiding him into her warmth. He kissed her harder and she shivered with pleasure when he started to drag himself in and out.

 

Wrapping her arms around his shoulders tightly she kissed along his shoulder and neck, “Oh, baby, you feel so good,” she whimpered softly. She grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it up over his head, revealing his beautiful chest to her eyes. Her shirt had already fallen open and her breasts bounced with every thrust of his hips. He moved slowly against her while she moaned into his shoulder. As they both got closer and closer to the edge, he laced his metal fingers with hers and pinned their entwined steel hands beside her head as he finished with a low groan and lowered himself to lay on her chest.

 

Still holding his hand in hers, she stroked her human fingers through his sweat-dampened hair while their breathing returned to normal. He touched soft kisses along her shoulder and up her neck, across her cheek and finally kissing her lips.

 

“Good morning,” She sighed and smiled up at him.

 

“Good morning, sweetheart,” when he kissed her again, a bright blue light from the touch screen started flashing, “What the hell,” he grumbled, crawling out of the sleeping bag and pulling his sweatpants back up while shuffling to the screen.

 

A message came up, ‘ _Video call pending: Rogers’_. Bucky looked over his shoulder to see if she was at least mostly dressed before pressing ‘accept’ and Steve’s face came up on the screen.

 

“Buck, you guys alright?” Steve asked. His ears turned pink when he saw Kara in the background behind Bucky, wearing only his barely buttoned shirt and coming up beside him, the love bites across her chest were on display.

 

Bucky glanced beside him to see Kara there and couldn’t help the small smile she brought to his lips when he saw her wild hair. He took a moment before looking back to Steve, “Yeah… yeah, we’re good,”

 

“Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”

 

“Just woke up,” he lied and ran a hand through his hair.

 

“It’s noon,”

 

“Shit, then we need to go back to bed,” Kara grumbled, turning away and walking toward the bed again, giving Steve another view of her long bare legs. This time Bucky noticed his old friends gaze and stepped further in front the camera.

 

“Yeah, uh, yeah, well,” Steve gathered his thoughts and Sam pushed into view, “Look, y’all are gunna have to chill there for a bit,” Sam said.

 

“How long is ‘a bit’?” Bucky asked, raising one eyebrow.

 

“Don’t know yet, but shit’s goin’ down on this end that could get messy if they knew where you are,” Sam explained before Steve pushed him out of the way again.

 

“We’ll contact you again soon. Just… lay low,” Steve urged.

 

“Well, wha’d’ya think we’re doin’?” Bucky huffed, annoyed and running his hands through his hair again.

 

“I know, I know,”

 

“I mean, we know how to lay low, wha’d’ya think we’ve done for a livin’ the last forty years?!”

 

“James,” Kara said in a warning tone behind him.

 

“Yeah, sorry, just… we’ll be here. We’ll wait for next contact,” Bucky said and took a deep breath, “Can we go back to what we were… go back to sleeping,”

 

“Yeah, sorry, talk to you soon,” Steve disappeared from the screen and Kara started laughing from the bed.

 

“What?” he couldn’t help but chuckle too as he turned back to her, crawling up the bed to her and holding himself above her, “What are you laughin’ about?”

 

“Someone’s a little testy when he gets interrupted,” she touched her nose to his before kissing him.

 

“Wasn’t done with my girl,” he mumbled against her lips. He pulled back and looked down at her, biting his lip at the image of her beneath him; her hair spread out in a dark halo and his shirt stretched across her breasts where her already hardening nipples showed through, “God, I really do like how you look in my clothes,”

 

With a girlish giggle she squirmed under him and ran her hands up his chest, “You really are getting domestic, baby. What’s a week or more locked up in here gunna do to us?”

 

He nuzzled into her neck with a happy hum and kissed soft skin all over playfully as she giggled more, “I think a week alone will let us be human for a while,”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***  
> Blood. Gore. Death. Death of children. Just general heartbreak.
> 
>  
> 
> Sorry to leave this chapter on that note, but I feel like I really need to update more often.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING***  
> Blood. Gore. Death. Death of children. Just general heartbreak.

_“… a week alone will let us be human for a while,”_

 

“Well, first on the list of human things to do is shower,” Kara said. He lifted his head from where he was tickling her neck with his lips and just stared at her for a moment, his expression was difficult for her to read, a mixture of too many emotions to sort out. His eyebrows showed confusion, his lips gave a micro-second of sadness, but his eyes, his eyes were drowning in amazement, as they had been for months. When she touched his cheek, the rest of his face softened and joined his eyes in the sea of happiness. He sighed deeply and leaned into her hand, kissing her palm.

 

To anyone else (if they’d ever let anyone else see them that way) they would look like love struck kids with their first love; never out of sight from the other, sharing everything, stealing kisses and soft smiles, fucking like hormonal teenagers. But that wasn’t quite right, she thought. They weren’t kids overeager to flaunt their love… they were people never given the chance to love, but suddenly gained that freedom. And they were using every bit of that newfound freedom that they could. They were touch and affection starved for so long, they both knew exactly what the other needed or wanted. They could read each other; pick each other apart quicker than they could dismantle a rifle.

 

They went upstairs into the house and took their shower together; gentle soapy hands wandering and caressing every reachable inch of each other, slow lazy kisses shared under a stream of warm water. The kisses that started out harmless and sweet started to grow and wander. Before long, he was on his knees in front of her, sucking bruises across her thighs and lifting one of her legs up on his shoulder. She was his favorite flavor and he kept going until she was dripping from his chin with the water of the shower. One of her hands was occupied, gripping his hair to hold him in place while she moved against him; and the other hand, the metal one, was laced with his, clinging tightly to each other. When she moved to repay the favor, he stopped her, holding her chin gently in his right hand while bracing his left on the tile wall behind her. When she raised her eyebrows in question, he shook his head with a smile, saying he did it because he wanted to, not because he needed anything in return. Then he kissed her smiling lips, slowly and lazily.

After the kiss during that blizzard so long ago, he told himself if they were ever free, if he ever had the chance to kiss her everyday whenever he wanted… he wasn’t going to miss a single opportunity and he was going to try his hardest to never take it for granted.

 

They used the kitchen to make breakfast together, Bucky was remembering how to cook. They ate together. Always together. They agreed once they were free that they were going to work through this new life together. They were two of a kind, no one else would understand.

 

 

Kara found herself at the sink. She had been washing her hands before she caught herself staring down at her smooth wet hands. Unnaturally smooth. No fingerprints or identifying marks of any kind, the bottoms of her feet were the same. Bucky had the same anomaly. She assumed Hydra burned their fingerprints off. It was silly how something so insignificant could upset her, but it was another reminder of how they tore away her humanity. They made her no one. No birthmarks, fingerprints, crooked teeth. Nothing. A blank slate to be carved into what they wanted. She had a recurring thought to take a straight pin and scratch new fingerprints into her skin. To take that away from them; to make herself into what _she_ wanted.

 

 

 

They passed the days slowly. Eating and sleeping like they hadn’t been able to in over a year. Talking and laughing like they hadn’t been allowed to in decades. Playing games (never watch two assassins play connect four, it’s boring and no one wins. There are only ties and ties that feel like losses.). After four days they were both getting restless, and after six she could barely stand to be inside anymore.

 

Kara was securely wrapped in his arms when he fell asleep, but gone when he woke up. Part of him wanted to panic, but all of his training told him to rule certain things out first. He checked the security feeds and quickly found her sitting on the back porch. After grabbing a blanket, he made his way out to her.

 

Sweatpants and a tank top did little to protect her from the chilly wind. She put the half-smoked cigarette between her lips and sucked a slow breath, and just when she did a blanket found a home across her shoulders.

 

“Thought you quit,” Bucky said, sitting on her left side.

 

She held the carton out to him with the lighter while she let the smoke billow from her lips, “Guess not,”

 

He took a cigarette, cupping his hand around the flame to light it. After a few breaths in silence he asked, “Where’d you get ‘em?”

 

“Couple boxes in the truck,” she explained simply.

 

She was hunched forward with her elbows on her knees while he watched her carefully. He watched the way her eyes followed the shadows of the trees that the moonlight made. She shut her eyes with every hit from the cigarette.

 

“Haven’t had to fight anyone in near a week,” she muttered.

 

“That’s what’s got you like this?” he raised his eyebrows before chuckling, “You wanna fight me? Would that help?”

 

She scoffed, “No, I’d beat you too easy. Where’s the fun in that?” she bumped her human shoulder against his when he laughed. There was comfortable silence while she took one last pull before flicking her cigarette out into the dewy grass. With a sigh, she leaned her head on his shoulder, “I think I like it,” she whispered.

 

“What? Beating me?” he smirked.

 

“Not fighting,”

 

After a moment he sighed, “Yeah,” and kissed the top of her head, “Me too,”

 

It took another cigarette and a bit of coaxing, but he finally got her to come back inside. He fell asleep quickly, but she stared at the ceiling in silence, letting her eyes trace the micro-cracks in the concrete. She was restless, ready to move. It was the safest place they’d been in years, yet she was still terrified they’d be found if they sat still too long.

 

They had both been nightmare-free four nights in a row, and while she was enjoying every silent moment in the dark, she knew it couldn’t last. Kara listened to Bucky’s slow sleeping breaths to try and distract her mind. She focused on the way he held her hand in his while he slept. They’d become comfortable enough to sleep in the bed normally, without the sleeping bag, and it was nice to have room to stretch… but they still stayed close. She was counting the seconds between his breaths when she realized his breath was speeding up. He was having a nightmare.

 

“Shit,” she muttered, turning to face him. That’s when he started to escalate.

 

“Barnes,” he panted, “32... 5570… 38... Sargent…”

 

He was dreaming about the experiments before Steve saved him, about Zola. She rolled up onto her knees and carefully moved him onto his back before sitting on his chest. Gripping his metal hand in hers, she pinned that arm down and did the same with his human hand. They’d been through this so many times before, they both knew what to do.

 

“James, wake up,” she didn’t say it in a whisper, but she didn’t say it harshly either. His head started twisting back and forth while his face contorted in pain, “I’m right here, listen to me,”

 

“325... 57…038”

 

“Bucky! Wake up!”

 

His eyes shot open as he panted for breath. He fought against her at first, growling and trying to push her away, but started to calm when she started talking to him, “Your name is James Barnes. My name is Kara. We escaped. You’re safe…”

 

“I’m safe…”

 

“Yes, baby, you’re safe,”

 

“ _We’re_ safe?”

 

She smiled and bent to rest her forehead on his, “Yes,” she looked into his eyes, “You good?”

 

When he nodded slowly, she let go of his hands and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. He ran his fingers through her hair while she whispered, “You’re ok,” over and over in his ear.

 

His breathing slowed down and they laid facing each other on their sides again, her head tucked under his chin.

 

“Got me back quicker than normal,” he commented, his voice was low and rough in her ear.

 

She was quiet a moment and didn’t move to look at him, “Called you ‘Bucky’,” she explained in a whisper. She never called him that, only James or Jay… but he’d never let anyone else call him by those names. Those were only for her.

 

He cuddled into her hair, she always smelled so good and it made him smile, “Were you asleep?” he mumbled. She only shook her head from side to side, not trusting her voice. She hated when he had nightmares; the broken sound in his voice and the pain etched across his face killed her a little every time. “Try to sleep,” he whispered, “Please, angel,” she nodded, wrapping her arms around him tighter and tangling her legs with his.

 

She let out a deep breath, trying to relax her body, she was so tense from all of the unknowns hanging over them and clouding her mind. He slipped his warm right hand into the back of her shirt, trailing his fingertips up and down her spine in slow smooth motions. While she focused on taking deep even breaths, he pressed his lips to the crown of her head and started humming a song quietly. Maybe later Kara would ask what the song was, but for then she just listened to him repeat the song over and over until the last thing she heard was him gaining the courage to sing a bit out loud in the gentlest voice, “ _I hope you do believe me… I’ve given you my heart,_ ”

The loving warmth that filled her chest from those words was what finally pushed her into sleep.

 

He drifted in and out of sleep, but with bits of his nightmares stuck behind his eyes he couldn’t stay asleep long. So he lied awake, a living heated blanket for her to curl up with. She sighed in her sleep, curling her fingers to feel his warm bare chest, and smiled knowing he was still there.

 

He had all of his memories back… most of them at least… but they were all blurry and faded, like an old photograph left in the sun. Maybe that was why every moment and emotion with her felt so vivid; or maybe she was naturally just that bright.

 

 

 

_When he was a weapon everything was murky, shades of gray and muted colors… but he saw her, battered and bleeding out, and her blood was the brightest red he’d ever seen; her eyes the brightest blue. He had to save her, and at the time that’s all it was; saving her. He hadn’t felt compelled to save anyone in decades; yet there he was, carrying a blood-soaked half-conscious girl to his superiors to demand the only thing he’d ever request of them._

_When he rounded the corner and saw her, he froze. The Winter Soldier **never** froze; always in action. But she froze him with her sharp glare. She was on her knees in the mud… mud made by her own blood mixing with the soil. Her arm barely hung on and yet she practically growled at him. She was bleeding out, with probably only minutes left, while staring down history’s greatest killer… and she growled at him._

_“Stay. Away from me,” she barked in the most commanding voice she had left._

_He slowly moved closer, strapping his gun to his back so his hands were free. He stepped over brick and rubble; a bomb, that’s what did this to her. When she shifted one knee out slightly, she winced in pain. She was trying to protect something. As he grew closer, he could see around her to see what she was guarding with her life. Bodies; people; children, really. Two tiny bodies huddled together behind her… ‘bodies’, because they no longer held life in them. Maybe she didn’t know they were dead. They were so small… limbs missing, scorched, and drenched in blood. As he inspected closer he saw they had her nose, or lips, or eyes… eternally open eyes._

_He was right in front of her then, and she grunted as she lashed at his legs with a shard of glass clenched tightly in her left hand. Catching her wrist more gently than he normally would, he pried the makeshift weapon from her bloodied hand._

_“Don’t touch me,” her voice was getting weaker and he saw blood in her mouth. She fought against him the best she could._

_“Stop,” he sighed in annoyance, “I’m trying to help you,”_

_“I don’t want help from a murderer,” she hissed, spitting blood his direction. For some strange reason the action didn’t anger him, only brought annoyance and an eye roll._

_He lifted her quickly, one arm under her back and the other under her knees, he made sure her damaged arm was safely placed tucked against her body, laying useless across her stomach. She continued to struggle, demanding that he take her back to them, hitting him with all her might (which wasn’t much)._

_“Enough,” his voice was shockingly soft, The Winter Soldier was **never** soft, “You’re making it worse. Please, just… let me help you,”_

_The word ‘please’ struck both of them. She froze, staring up at him in confusion. His eyebrows pulled together and his eyes widened, The Winter Soldier **never** said ‘please’._

_The walk to the aircraft was short, but by the time they arrived she was barely hanging on. The guards in the plane all stood abruptly when they saw him, then shifted in uncertainty at what he was carrying. With more care than any of them had seen the Soldier display, he laid her on the med cot, arranging her gently before turning to the medical crew._

_“Fix her,” two of the assistants stepped back, but the doctor stood firm._

_“We don’t take orders from you,” he scoffed._

_“Save her, now,”_

_“Awe, does the errand boy have a crush?” a guard teased and when the Soldier took a step forward another voice came from the front of the plane._

_“Do it,” the man said, “We’ve needed a reason to test the new process. If she lives… she can be another asset… since he seems so concerned,” the man looked at the Soldier, “Finish your mission,” he ordered._

_The Soldier paused, he **never** paused for an order, but he paused to look at her while the medical team cut away her ruined clothes and no-so-gently put a breathing tube down her throat. _

_“Please, help her,” he prayed silently to whoever or whatever could be listening… the Soldier **never** prayed. Not anymore. Not since they had beaten the hope out of him. But seeing her, with her fiery soul and bright colors… hope was back._

 

 

Bucky knew he should tell her. Tell her that he remembered it all… all too clearly. He couldn’t bring himself to do it, and he knew the longer he waited the worse it would be. Maybe tomorrow; it was always ‘maybe tomorrow’.


End file.
